Let’s get one thing clear. You can’t sit for a drive-through eyebrow stud at Salem’s Latte, the funky little coffee stand that takes up one corner of Jori Zan’s State Street piercing parlor. What you can get is an expertly poured, 26-second espresso drink – one that puts the rest of the coffee in Salem to shame.

Salem’s Latte, named after the Stephen King’s iconic vampire horror novel ‘Salem’s Lot,' is the only drive-through coffee shop in town that serves up Stumptown coffee, the Portland bean purveyors that are arguably the country’s best.

“A lot of people go for the cheapest beans they can find,” said Troy Stose, part-owner of Jori Zan’s Body Piercing and Salem’s Latte, which has been open for about five years. “We think it’s worth it to spend a little more,” Stose said.

While Stumptown's recent opening in New York City caused a major brew-haha, even inspiring some food journalists in the area to hail the arrival of “Portland’s Prophet,” Salem’s Latte remains an insider’s secret to only the most discerning coffee drinkers in town. And they aren’t afraid to add minutes to their daily commute for the chance to get the very best at a place that is under-the-radar, and by all accounts, hard to find.

As the sun rises up over the State Penitentiary, flooding the shop, barista Carrie Meyers heads outside to unfold a plain yellow sign with interchangeable letters that says plaintively, and perhaps a little modestly, “Salem’s Best latte.”

They’re not kidding. Unlike some regional and national coffee chains, which have exploded in popularity without having a firm base in mind-blowing artisan beans, Stumptown has staked its reputation on exacting standards, relationships with coffee growers at the source, and mind-blowing beans.

Salem’s Latte doesn’t wear its connection to Stumptown on its sleeve. Unless you come looking for it, nothing but a little sticker on the window will let you in on the secret.

But it was Stumptown’s taste alone that got Stose thinking about opening a second business. He was sitting in Stumptown’s Belmont location in Portland, drinking his usual, an iced Americano, when it struck him.

“It was the best coffee I had ever tasted in my life,” Stose said. “It was so sweet – not bitter like coffee drinks normally are.”

It isn’t uncommon for an independent business such as Jori Zan’s to develop a relationship with Stumptown, but the company doesn’t shell out its beans to just anybody.

“We’ve always been very selective about who carries the beans,” said Matt Lounsbury, Director of Operations for Stumptown Coffee Roasters. “We can tell right away when people are more focused on other things than taking care of the coffee.”

By that logic, Carrie Meyer’s is Salem Latte’s full-time, one-woman coffee caregiver. The first order of the day comes from a middle-aged woman in a red mustang. Before she can get a word out, Meyers leans out the window and cuts her off.

“Hi! Your usual?”

The woman receives a 16 o.z. sugar-free, nonfat, raspberry latte made with Stumptown’s signature “Hairbender” beans. Nearly all of the customers at Salem’s Latte are regulars, and Meyers knows their orders as well as she can recognize the make of their cars. Some people mix up their orders and try new things, but for most of the stand’s customers, especially those who work nearby, a trip to Salem’s Latte is a comforting part of their daily routine.

They may not know it, but some simple characteristics connect the orders from customers who work in the surrounding neighborhoods.

The State Penitentiary: Plain drip coffee (“I wouldn’t want to walk into jail with a frou-frou drink,” Meyers says).

The State Hospital: Decaf espresso drinks (perhaps their nerves are frayed enough).

The inside of Salem’s Latte looks like a funky living room, with spring green and mint green walls, a refrigerator covered with magnetic poetry, and two floating orbs hung from the ceiling. A row of flavors – Coconut, Pina Coloda, Irish Cream – lines a wall. A cheeky magnet on the fridge says: “Welcome to Earth, a subsidiary of Microsoft.”

Except for the curatorial approach it takes with its beans, Stumptown makes very few demands of the independent businesses that carry their brand. Baristas don’t have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, look a certain way, or correct their customers’ orders in Italian.

The two major requirements for Salem’s Latte to carry the Stumptown brand were the acquisition of a very specific espresso machine, the La Marzocco, capable of crafting the hand-crafted taste the company prefers, and a Stumptown-trained barista, which it has in Meyers.

Stumptown’s full-day training involves 2-3 hours of in-depth background on coffee – what it is, where it is grown, who are the farmers producing it, how Stumptown buys it, how they roast it, and how they transport it. Every second of the process involves actual human hands, making the company one where “artisan” and “hand-crafted” aren’t just clever marketing ploys.

The training continues with a hands-on lesson on how to pull an espresso in 24-27 seconds, how to texturize steamed milk, and how to build espresso drinks.

Swinging by the State Street location, which opens at 7 a.m. and only stays open until 2 p.m., Monday-Friday, might get a little easier this summer when owners Jori Zan and Troy Stose once again consider expanding hours to see if sales can keep Salem’s best latte brewing through twilight. The shop also sells about half a dozen 1-lb. bags of beans such as the Ethiopian Wondo Bonko directly to customers, but Salem’s Latte hasn’t really advertised the service.

“I get the feeling people around here aren’t really that into good coffee – that they just dilute it with a lot of syrup,” Stose said. “We’ll expand the hours if the business is there.”

But until then, they’ll keep doing what they do best – pulling espresso for the coffee insiders, the persnickety palates, the discerning sippers, the ones in the know.