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Facing the Facts: Downtown signs, watering the yard, and gas pricesA collection of opinions from SM's Editorial Board
By Angela Yeager
from Salem Monthly, Section Screen
Posted on Fri Nov 30, 2007 at 09:37:04 PM PDT
Nothing really says jingle bells and a merry holiday season like a sequel to "Alien vs. Predator" and Johnny Depp as a barber who slashes people's throats while singing to Stephen Sondheim music.
Yeah, well, it is Hollywood after all. What's a little murder and mayhem during the holidays anyway? And at least "Fred Claus" isn't still around to stink up theaters since somebody had the genius idea of releasing the Vince Vaughn bomb in early November. So we do have something to be thankful for.
Other than that, we've got Nicolas Cage and his hair piece stomping out any trace of his reputation in the sequel to "National Treasure," a satire of musical bio-pictures, and a mix of big budget action flicks and movies based on books that everyone pretends they have read.
Just keep these rules in mind and you can't go wrong this month: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Daniel Day Lewis = good. A movie starring Jason Lee acting against digitally-created chipmunks = bad.
Here are more film offerings to find in your stocking:
"The Golden Compass"
(Dec. 7)
This big-budget fantasy starring Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig is already being boycotted by some Christian groups so the big question is whether this will pull in a ton of money like "The Da Vinci Code."
"Atonement"
(Dec. 7)
Keira Knightley, plays a woman whose lover is wrongly accused of a crime by her younger sister. The film reunites Knightley with her director of the 2005 "Pride and Prejudice," Joe Wright.
"I am Legend"
(Dec. 14)
Will Smith is the last man on earth, or at least New York (same difference) after a biological attack. He is left to battle undead mutants infected by a plague. This is a big budget remake of the 1971 Charlton Heston cult classic, "The Omega Man."
"Alvin and the Chipmunks" (Dec. 14)
Did I not get the memo that these guys were back? And why is Jason Lee in this film? Didn't he used to be cool?
"National Treasure: Book of Secrets" (Dec. 21)
Nicolas Cage's treasure hunter is on the trail trying to track down the missing pages of John Wilkes Booth's diary in this sequel to the 2004 hit.
"Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" (Dec. 21)
It was only a matter of time: John C. Reilly stars as Dewey Cox, a fictional music legend whose life is chronicled in this satire of musical biopics. The preview shows obvious jokes alluding to movies such as "Walk the Line," "Ray" and others. While the jokes seemed pretty thin in the movie trailer, it is co-written by Judd Apatow ("Knocked Up") so perhaps there is hope.
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (Dec. 21)
Tim Burton and his muse Johnny Depp reunite in this film version of Stephen Sondheim's Broadway musical. If you've seen the preview and think it looks like a musical version of "From Hell" crossed with "Edward Scissorhands," I think you would be right.
"Charlie Wilson's War" (Dec. 25)
What is the deal with Tom Hanks' hair? Here is one of the world's biggest movie stars and yet no stylist seems to know what to do with the man's mane. In "Cast Away," he was given dreads. Then in "The Da Vinci Code" he got saddled with a very unfortunate mullet. I've seen the trailer for his newest movie at least three times and I couldn't tell you anything about it other than Hanks' hair looks like a tragedy. And don't even get me started on that blonde bouffant sitting on top of Julia Roberts' head.
"Alien vs. Predator: Requiem"
(Dec. 25)
The sequel that you didn't know you wanted for Christmas, but apparently, we're getting it anyway.
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