Or not.

July brings us re-imaginings of toys from the 1980s ("Transformers"), yet another Harry Potter movie, and a remake of a musical that was a remake of a 1988 cult classic (that would be John Waters' "Hairspray").

So when does fall arrive?

Here are some July releases:

"Transformers" (July 3) -- Guess who won't be in line to see Michael Bay's (aka Devil-man) newest attempt at seeing how much stuff he can blow up? That's right: me. I decided to boycott his movies after "Bad Boys II" became the worst movie I ever saw in the theater. The concept of "Transformers" could have been cool, but since it's Bay, you know it will be an indulgent, loud mess with several scenes involving slow-mo explosions, sweat and running.

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" (July 13) -- Will Harry Potter get to make out with a girl? Will Ron Weasley be in the movie more than five minutes? Does anyone who doesn't read the books really understand what the heck Quidditch is? If you're a fan of the books, you already know the answers to these questions. If you're not, you probably could care less about the movie.

"Hairspray" (July 21) -- As someone who is a big fan of the original 1988 John Waters movie, I have serious doubts how a movie version of the musical based on his brilliant movie could live up to the original. There is no Divine, no Ricki Lake, no Ruth Brown and certainly no Debbie Harry and Sonny Bono to be found in this remake. I love John Travolta as much as the next person, but he cannot fill the shoes of the iconic transvestite Divine. One of my all-time favorite movie lines comes from the original "Hairspray," when the chubby Tracy Turnblad (Lake) says: "I'm an integrationist. We shall overcome someday." And Pia Zadora's beatnik chick character replies, "Not with that hair you won't." Classic stuff.

"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" (July 21) -- Oh, it's so hilarious. See, Kevin James needs to get health insurance for his kids. He's a firefighter, but apparently, he can't get insurance for some reason. So he and his best friend, played by Adam Sandler, pretend to be gay so they can get domestic partner benefits. But then Sandler meets hot Jessica Biel, and he doesn't want to pretend to be gay anymore. It's HILARIOUS. Let's just try to forget that this movie was already made (it was called "Boat Trip," and it was awful) and focus instead on how completely stupid this concept is, especially considering how few places in this country have any kind of legal rights for gay couples.

"The Simpsons Movie" (July 27) -- Doh! The long-awaited screen version of the popular TV series is finally here. Expectations are high, so hopefully it won't disappoint. In the movie, Homer accidentally pollutes the river in Springfield with toxic waste, causing the entire town to evacuate.