Michael Johns ("Dream on" by Aerosmith) Simon used the word "wannabeish." Couldn't have said it better myself. He sounded sort of like Steven Tyler, except, well, not.

Syesha Mercado ("I Believe" by Fantasia) Let the long-winded ballads begin. Syesha's so-so performance came off self-indulgent and tired. I miss her laryngitis days.

Jason Castro ("Somewhere Over the Rainbow) This quaint little ukulele performance woke me right up: An excellent arrangement, performed beautifully by Idol's king of casual.

Kristy Lee Cook ("Anyway" by Martina McBride) Yet another cheesy country performance by Kristy. The judges might have liked it, but I was unimpressed. I think it's time for VoteForTheWorst.com to pick a new favorite - not because Kristy's gotten better, but because she's so completely dull these days.

David Cook ("Innocent" by Our Lady Peace) David might be the frontrunner in this contest, but tonight's performance sucked the big one. It felt calculated, contrived. And worst of all his voice was off. He tried to sing low and gravelly and it didn't work. At all. Go back to your emo roots, baby. Eddie Vedder misses you.

Carly Smithson ("The Show Must Go On" by Queen) Now here's a possibility for a new VoteForTheWorst.com contestant. Carly's angry rendition (on inspirational night, no less. For shame, Carly) of this song was laughable. And she's still so damn creepy.

David Archuleta ("Angels" by Robbie Williams) Little David was quite in his element this evening. Inspirational is what he does best and why he will someday be a successful youth pastor. His performance was good, not great.

Brooke White ("You've Got A Friend" by Carol King) This performance was so completely phony, I thought I was going to throw up. You could see the wheels turning in her head as she told herself, "Okay, look really sad. Now hopeful. Oops! Time to warble." Barf.

Since this week is Idol Gives Back, no one is going home. But if I had my druthers it would be Kristy, Syesha and Carly in the Bottom Three, and Syesha on her way out.