Brooke White ("Jolene") Brooke, or "Skeletor" as she is affectionately referred to by VoteForTheWorst.com (and it's true she really could use a sandwich), was so bad - or "consistent" as Randy calls it - that Simon actually had to make fun of the BAND instead of her. Wow. Is that an Idol first?

David Cook ("Little Sparrow") In an attempt to squelch every single complaint there is about him, David came out with a new haircut and an original arrangement. Web sites and blogs have been nailing him for singing ready-made arrangements, yet being mightily praised by judges for his originality. But you gotta give him credit, they have been original choices AND tonight's self-made arrangement wasn't half bad. David Cook is still Idoltude's favorite.  

Ramiele Malubay ("Do I Ever Cross Your Mind") No, Ramiele. The answer is no. You NEVER cross my mind, nor will this performance. Ever.

Jason Castro ("Travelin' Through") Textbook Jason Castro performance. If you "get" him you may have liked it. If, like Simon, you don't get him, then it was probably pretty bland.

Carly Smithson ("Here You Come Again") Thank God for Simon. While Paula, Randy and Ryan are ready to suck Carly's toes, the rest of us at home are wondering how the hell she got on the show. SHE is why weirdos think they have a chance to make it onto the show. Thank you, Simon, for being the voice of reason.

David Archuleta ("Smoky Mountain Memories") Tonight's performance by Little David was definitely a step above the horror of last week's Jesus Camp re-enactment. The kid will be around for awhile, so let's hope he can lock away his inner Evangelist for the rest of the competition.

Kristy Lee Cook ("Coat of Many Colors") Ms. Cook was in her element tonight, belting out the soooobbbb story of the poooorrrrr girl who had a ... sniff, sniff ... coat of many colors. Wahhhhhhh! The REALLY sad thing about this performance, though, was not how truly awful Kristy sounded, or how completely transparent her desperation appeared. No. The really sad thing was that it WORKED on two of the three judges. I give them a slide on Carly Smithson. But they've gotta stop giving this girl kudos. Whether she's "blowing" Simon's socks off or not.

Syesha Mercado ("I Will Always Love You") Actually not a bad performance by Syesha. In fact, it was probably good enough to keep her in for another round.

Michael Johns ("It's All Wrong, But It's All Right") Mmm ... Michael Johns showed us his bluesy side. And it was quite nice. Perhaps this struggling Aussie has finally found his niche.

So far my Bottom Three predictions have been so completely off base that I feel silly even attempting a guess this week. But here goes anyway: Ramiele has GOT to bottom out somewhere. She surprised us last week by making it into the Top Ten, but with Syesha coming out with a strong performance, I think her buffer may be busted.

Jason Castro was in the Bottom Three last week, which was a bit of a surprise to everyone but Simon, so I'm betting that his female counterpart - Brooke - will surprise America this week. After a string of so-so performances, this girl definitely needs a wake-up call. And while we're dreaming, maybe CARLY will be in the Bottom Three again. Out of those three, maybe, just maybe, we can finally bid farewell to the heinous Ramiele.