In my dreams Barack Obama always sits on a purple comforter at the edge of my bed, his elbows on his knees, his head drooping down between his shoulders.

“I’m sorry it has to end like this,” Barry tells me, inserting a pregnant pause for maximum effect. “But I understand.”

We never actually get to have any fun in the romantic dreams I have about our new president. In them it is, frustratingly, always after the fact – we wake up in the cold shame of the morning after: tired, slightly embarrassed, and almost completely void of the red-hot passion that engulfed us the night before.

I am always the one to break it off with him. I feel bad for his wife. I cannot bear to ruin his beautiful family. But the real reason I break up with Barack Obama is that I am afraid that news of our liaison will impair his ability to lead us out of economic and moral crisis (thanks a lot, Bill).

Clearly, I’m not the only one who wants to four score with our new president. Still, the selfless sacrifice I make for my country in my sleep doesn’t negate the truth: our new president is the smokingist thing to come along since George Clooney circa 1998 (or Zak Efron circa 2006, depending on what age group you fall into). After all, Obama did win the 2008 with 56 percent of the female vote. That may be news to no one, but our crushes don’t seem to be subsiding as we push past Obama’s first 100 days in office.

True Romance

However much of a non-starter my own Obama dream is, our country’s romance with Obama is still being written. If you ask the romance writers who live and spin their tales of passion and intrigue in the Willamette Valley, our new leader has what it takes to captivate us well past spring.

“Romances begin without the characters really knowing each other,” said Alice Sharpe, a Brownsville mystery romance writer whose most recent Harlequin Intrigue novel, "Multiples Mystery," hit shelves in March. Sharpe, whose sheer proclivity means she’s not even sure how many novels she’s published (in the 30s), said we’re through the courtship phase with Obama, but our romance with him is far from over.

“We want a smart, clever, strong man,” Sharpe said. “We know at least that Obama’s smart and clever, time will tell if he’s also strong.”

Sharpe said that in both written and real-life romances, a romantic male lead’s actions speak louder than his words, priming political candidates to be especially attractive objects of romantic affection in difficult times.

“Many readers respond to someone who will protect them,” Sharpe said. “They want someone who will protect them at the cost of his own life.”

Winning smile and rockin’ bod aside, how a character deals with the challenges he faces are far more important than aesthetic considerations for most female protagonists, Sharpe said.

“By the end of a book, you’ve seen him go through trials and tribulations – he’s acted and performed, and so, you can take the measure of the man.”

We have yet to take full measure of Obama, but whether we actually know anything about him or have just been captivated by what his media handlers have put out there, his characterization seems to be working.

“It does seem like there is something backing Obama up,” Sharpe said. “It’s his strength of will that appeals to us.”

America’s Leading Man

Barack Obama isn’t the first U.S. president to win the minds and, more pressingly, the hearts of women. Clinton was a ladies’ man, but most agree his charisma emanated from within (actually, many insiders say he’s just a really good listener). In fact, until Obama came along, Americans most frequently have cited John F. Kennedy as the nation’s favorite political heartthrob, though other, less overexposed leading men could also have laid claim to the title (Franklin Pierce anyone? Hot!).

Elisabeth Naughton, President of the Willamette Valley Romance Writers of America believes it is partially Obama’s novelty that has launched him to leading man status. Her debut romance novel Stolen Fury, just one of four books she has on contract with Dorchester Publishing, tells the story of archeologist Lisa Maxwell and her quest to find the three furies, one of which has been lifted by a charming Italian scoundrel named Rafe.

“Male heroes start out kind of questionably, we don’t know much about them,” the Keizer mother of two said. “Obama’s new, he’s young, and he’s attractive. Being attractive isn’t always the most important thing, but it can’t hurt.”

Naughton says you also can’t underestimate the power of the romantic male lead’s magnetic pull – a characteristic that doesn’t necessarily come across in quick media bytes but can only be experienced face-to-face – or cheek-to-cheek.

“People said Clinton could walk into a room and charm the whole crowd,” Naughton said. “He wasn’t especially attractive, but he had that charisma.”

One thing is clear. If Obama wants to keep all of the minds and the hearts he has already won, especially women’s hearts, he needs to avoid the pitfalls of the fallen male hero.

“No lying, cheating, no posturing,” Sharpe said. “He needs to avoid dishonesty in all of its different faces.”

Besides, as Sharpe emphasizes, what is important for male romantic leads is not necessarily who they are, but what they can do for us.

“When you love people, their love and welfare and safety comes before your own,” she said. “That’s really appealing.”

He also needs to stand by his convictions, since strength of character is often exhibited by making a decision and sticking with it, no matter the cost.

For this writer, that translates to at least one presidential term of restful nights, knowing that I too am contributing to the reinvigoration of our country by banishing the dreams from my president. As I let him follow through on all the promises he made during his campaign, I vow to remain his closeted Monica, his Marilyn that got away.