OMG! WTF, movie interrupters? It’s getting to be summer time. With the nice weather, Hollywood has a penchant for creating big blockbuster films to give solace to those looking to escape the rising temperatures.
With bigger movie audiences and movies that appeal to the lowest common denominator, it’s also time for a refresher on movie screening etiquette. How annoying is it when people who are a foot and a half behind your row can’t stop gabbing enough to watch the movie? Sure, it might be “What just happened?” or “What did he say?” but if they would shut up long enough, we’d all likely be able to hear the movie. We’ll call these folks The Talkers.
What’s worse than the person who is always 10 seconds behind on a movie? The person who bought the $30 bucket of popcorn and is practically swimming in the butter-covered snack. As their tongue slaps across their face to catch the dripping butter while another hand plunges into the bucket for another handful of artery clogs, everyone around them is cringing. Self-decimation is absolutely a right to which every American is allowed, but won’t someone think of the poor soul in the seat just ahead with all of that digesting going on a mere foot away? Add to this mix the neverending plastic candy wrappers or the rattling of the seemingly bottomless box of Raisinets. Worse yet are the people who bring in outside food with its own ripe, distinctive flavor of room-temperature tuna fish. This group of movie interrupters? The Chompers.
In the new age of technology, the people who kick the back of seats have been replaced by another immature group: The Socialites. These would be the people who need to check Facebook every 10 minutes during the movie. You know the ones: they’re always a few rows ahead and can’t let their phone’s screen dim. They’ll reach into their pocket, flip open their phone and despite the fact that they are likely the most unimportant among us, they’ll send someone a text message. Nine times out of 10 the person they text messaged will return with a phone call and as Soulja Boy is being blasted across the theater, the person commits an even bigger moviegoer faux pas: they answer it. “Yeah, dude, I’m watching a movie. Oh, it’s totally awesome, man. Where are you?”
Society has progressed beyond throwing popcorn at the person regardless of their Talker, Chomper or Socialite mentalities. Yes, it’s true that movie theatres are rocking out to the Dolby Digital and movies should be loud enough to avoid the grating of nerves, but at some point the explosions come to the end (Michael Bay only makes a movie a year, you see) and the lead characters need to be intimate – almost as intimate as a Chomper is with their package of Sour Patch Kids. Be respectful and enjoy the movies. OMG! WTF, movie interrupters?
