There are few original ideas available for consumption this week, but one can look forward to Jesse Eisenberg going back to his Zombieland roots in 30 Minutes or Less. Gleeks have something to forward to with the Glee concert movie. And then there’s Spy Kids 4 …
August 12
30 Minutes or Less
Jesse Eisenberg reunites with Ruben Fleischer, the director of Zombieland, for this comedy that co-stars Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride and Nick Swardson. Eisenberg plays a pizza delivery driver with a penchant for the ganja, who gets wrapped up in a scheme to rob a bank. Ansari spends the movie looking really surprised to be there.
Final Destination 5
How many times can you convince an audience to watch people dying in unique and creative ways? Hollywood is hoping for at least five times, as they bring yet another Final Destination into theaters. It’s using the same formula as the last four, so expect a pretty blonde, a buff Clark Kent-looking lead and The Candyman himself, Tony Todd, to pop up with a baritone warning about death catching up with them.
Glee: The 3D Concert Movie
In an effort to continue squeezing tweens of their parent’s hard earned moola, the producers of Glee have added a 3D concert movie to the list of concert dates, two TV shows, and a multitude of TV soundtrack releases. It reeks of a rip off of Justin Bieber’s movie, which doesn’t mean good things for the world of cinema. Nonetheless, Gleeks the world over will have a chance to go behind the scenes of the concert tour with all of the fresh, famous faces of Glee.
August 19
Conan the Barbarian 3D
The Conan franchise is getting rebooted with Jason Momoa in the role that was made famous by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Most people would likely recognize Momoa from his role in the Game of Thrones where he played the Dorthraki King, Khal Drogo. In other words, he’s no stranger to grunting and leaving a bloody pile of bodies behind him. Hail, Crom.
Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World
Even though the original Spy Kids are, like, 45 years old, they still show up in this film. Strangely, Jessica Alba and Joel McHale play the parents. Robert Rodriguez, who wrote and directed the film, must love calling in favors, because the movie is seemingly too Disney Channel for both Alba and McHale. Alba plays a grown-up spy who initiates her stepkids into becoming Spy Kids. Jeremy Piven plays the bad guy.
