There are some unique bands in Salem. They experiment with new sounds, put on an entertaining live show and earn the admiration of their fans. And then there is King Thog: a half human, half velociraptor from planet hVADOXe, rocking house parties and venues with electronic dance thrash at physically impossible speeds.
“We have songs that are 537 beats per minute and faster, and there’s not one under 180. Nobody can play a keyboard that fast,” said King Thog.
Thog’s live show includes a wall full of keyboards, a few other band members and a light show. “We all wear masks, and with the ‘Thog machine’ and the lights – it’s pretty crazy to know what’s going on,” he said.
Thog depends on live performances, because the majority of his lyrics are improvised on stage. “I mostly sing about drinking and fighting and also about being a space reptile,” said King Thog. “Thog wants to party, to drink and to fight, and to have sexual intercourse with fly honeys. Or with big booty hoes, either one of those will work.”
The stage shows are also the only way to appreciate Thog’s personality. “We freak out,” he said. “In my first show, I wore a chest pad and I encouraged people in the audience to punch me on the chest.”
It all started when Thog was featured on Conan the Barbarian. “I thought, ‘Thog rocks,’ and I made a song,” recalled King Thog. Then, he created a hockey team made up of characters from hVADOXe in the PlayStation game NHL Hitz 2003, some of which also play in the band (Pig Benis, Sgt. Moosethunder and The Ripper).
“The idea is that Thog is the name of the band, I’m King Thog, and I’m an intergalactic reptile whose sole purpose is to create ridiculousness. And that’s about it so far,” he explained.
Thog is an acronym, and depending on the King’s mood, it may stand for, “Terrible Horned Orangutan Guards, “That’s Howya Oldschool Gay,” “Total Hatred of God,” “Tentacle Having Oriental Garden,” etc.
“I try to say a different one every time,” he said.
Thog’s keyboards hold lots of secrets, but King Thog’s biggest enigma is his human identity. “I teach kids and Thog is doing and saying all kinds of ridiculous stuff. It undermines my ability to be a role model. I want to keep it separate from what I do,” he said.
King Thog decided it was better to remain anonymous because the previous black metal band he was in was discovered by some of the kids’ parents. “I had to stop being in that band because it was offensive,” he said. The band was called Asspounder. It disintegrated in 2005 but some of the members formed another black metal band, Altar of Thrond, which is still around.
Thog is an elusive band. They mostly play at house parties, but potential fans should keep an eye out for shows at The Space or at The Triangle Inn, some of the venues where they make sporadic appearances. They may also show up at a house known as “Burial Grounds.”
Thog has only made a handful of appearances, but one of those was with the new Salem band Monoplane. King Thog expects to increase his performances once the CD comes out, which he expects will be in two months.
In the meantime, the band has some music up online, at myspace.com/thog42069, but these versions of Thog’s songs are only instrumental. All the songs are created by Thog on his keyboard and then decorated and uploaded using the Fruity Loops Studio program, which King Thog has been mastering for over eight years. The rest of the band’s members proceed to learn the moves before each show.
Thog’s musical influences include, “Thrash metal and really crazy J-Pop. And violence, sex and drinking,” said King Thog, who admits to being violent himself, “unpredictably so.”
King Thog’s favorite local band is Kvlt 45: “That’s my friend’s band. He does covers of soundtrack songs, black metal style. He plays hilarious stuff. His Jurassic Park black metal is awesome … It’s another joke band.”
