The next two weeks have something for everyone: Oprah book club fans can cry while watching Julia Roberts in “Eat Pray Love,” action movie fans can watch Stallone and company blow stuff up in “The Expendables,” and in vitro fertilization fans can watch Jason Bateman trip over himself in “The Switch.”
August 13
Eat Pray Love
Oprah’s Midas touch is seen here, as Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir makes it to the big screen. Julia Roberts stars as Gilbert, a freshly divorced woman who takes off on a round-the-world journey. Javier Bardem, James Franco, and Billy Crudup co-star.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Michael Cera, the permanent coming-of-age guy, tackles a comic book hero that has to defeat his new girlfriend’s seven evil exes in order to win her heart. The trailer plays out like a cross between video game and the old Batman TV series with cartoon pows and bams. Cera is consistently good, even in bad movies. But “Shaun of the Dead” director Edgar Wright is behind the camera and that should mean good things for George Michael Bluth et al.
The Expendables
Combine the world’s greatest action heroes into one big movie. It’s something that only Sylvester Stallone could put together. And here’s the result: Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Steve Austin (this is forgivable) with cameos from Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. The foreseeable problem is that with the exception of Stallone, none of the lead actors have worked on a movie with a solid plot. But in the world of action heroes, we’re really just looking forward to the explosions, right?
August 18
Vampires Suck
From the guys who brought you every horrible parody movie in the last five years comes another horrible parody movie. Besides making allegiance to Team Edward or Team Jacob, making a movie that mocks Twilight is the only surefire way of making a lot of emo teens (and their creepy moms) mad.
August 20
Nanny McPhee Returns
Did you know she was gone? Me neither. When two families with a bunch of kids merge on a farm, the grown-ups are in need of Emma Thompson’s portrayal of Nanny McPhee, the world’s first supernanny. Thompson also penned the adaptation of the screenplay from Christianna Brand’s popular children’s book series.
Piranha 3D
We’re going to need a bigger boat. One in 3D, please. The film follows Ving Rames and Adam Scott around as they try not to die at the mouths of big toothy fish that are deadset on eating them and the thousands of spring breakers in the area.
The Lottery Ticket
Who wants to be like Mike when you can just get a lottery ticket that will make you super rich? Bow Wow (sans the Lil’ nowadays) stars as a kid who has to protect a winning lottery ticket after the whole neighborhood finds out he’s rich. Bullies, women, and Ice Cube are all adversaries.
The Switch
Who doesn’t love Jason Bateman? Well, Jennifer Aniston’s character in this flick is one of them. Bateman gets delegated to the friend zone, but not before switching the donor semen that is soon to be fertilizing Aniston’s eggs. Jump forward seven years, when both parties have to deal with a kid and their pent-up feelings. And, you know, the semen issue.
